I wish I was better

God, I wish I was a better fucking artist. I feel like I don’t make any progress, though I practice regularly. I just forget and relearn the same lessons over and over again.

While I’m at it, I wish I was a better writer, too. It bugs me that, I’ve only written two really good (in my opinion) things in my life, and I wrote both of them over four years ago. And it was the suckier of the two (IMO) that got more praise.

Why is it that there are people out there that read Wild Pink that will still say they liked it, and Paladin Quest got indifference? I mean, I still have most of Wild Pink as a hard copy, and I can’t bear to read it. It SUCKS! At least, the writing does…the story idea (as much as it is a shounen stereotype) isn’t that bad an idea…but god my writing sucks in that story.

I keep feeling the temptation to rewrite it…to reacquaint myself with that pathetic shounen loving part of me that still lives in the recesses of my heart and rewrite the damn teenage wet-dream of a story, and finish it. I’ve sat down to do it more than once. Needless to say, I’ve been less than successful.

Though, I think if I rewrote it, and finished it, it might be the only publishable thing I’ve ever written. I could publish it as a Piers Anthony-ish juvenile fiction novel. Being a new Piers Anthony by no means bothers me….sure as hell seems to bug Amber though.